Robbie was in the shadow of older, more experienced workers, and he knew it. He was young, just over twenty, and most of the other workers were on the other side of forty. Some of them had worked for decades at the auction and performed their duties with gestures and head nods, making it seem like they just psychically knew how to do everything. Some had their own farms or other jobs besides the auction. The local livestock vet didn’t just examine tags and paperwork at Waverly but even helped during the auction because she liked being part of the team. 

Sorting animals to go into auction from the jumbled masses of different genders, sizes, and breeds they came in was hectic work. Robbie and I were part of that crew, tasked with helping two other men, Mike and Aaron, who knew each other well. They were around sixty years old; one had been at the auction before Robbie was born, and they had a presence that prevented either inquiry or complaint. 

They were also sadists. Mike and Aaron didn’t just abuse animals out of frustration or habit. They did it out of pleasure. When scared goats and sheep wouldn’t move where Mike or Aaron wanted, they would punish the animals. Their preferred method was to get an animal’s body between their legs and twist the animal’s head for several seconds as the animal screamed, heaved for breath, and finally stopped fighting. The cruelty was usually followed up with a statement like, “I fucking told you!” or “Bitch!”

Mike got more creative in the abuse than Aaron. I saw him pin a goat’s head against a wall with a heavy wooden gate. The animal screamed, and another goat came over as if to console the trapped animal before standing helplessly in front of Mike, who pressed against the gate with a smile on his face. I asked what was happening, and Aaron said, “He’s going to school right now.” When Mike finally released the goat, Aaron yelled, “Don’t piss the teacher off! That’s what happens!”

Mike “taught” a small goat not to disobey him by holding the animal by a rear leg before kicking the goat’s head into a wall. Another goat, only about fifteen pounds in weight, made Mike angry when the animal tried to escape when he wanted to see if the goat was a boy or a girl. Mike held the goat by the scrotum, lifted him in the air, and then threw him about six feet onto a concrete floor.

Witnessing such abuse, the younger Robbie learned from it. After struggling with a goat that wouldn’t move where he wanted, Robbie pinned the animal to the ground and twisted the goat’s head to the side for about three seconds. He then released the goat with no indication of anger or frustration on his face. Robbie looked as though he was simply trying to see if the method would work. He didn’t look upset by it, nor did he look convinced.

He later struck up a conversation with me about how he enjoyed hunting and fishing but changed the topic to how he wanted to raise a family of his own. His words were laced with insecurity. It was the kind of conversation I’ve heard from young ranch hands more times than I can remember. Young people, many of whom feel stuck and without answers from anyone around them, confide in an older person who is new. They seem to want some kind of advice or encouragement they’ve never heard before. I’ve had such people tell me all sorts of things, like about being sexually abused by a brother or having a meth-addicted spouse who is out of control. But most were like Robbie. They just want some kind of life advice besides none at all. 

But I was undercover. By the time Robbie decided to tell me about himself, my focus was on turning Mike and Aaron in for animal cruelty, so I gave Robbie no advice at all.

Mike ended up prosecuted for cruelty to animals. His punishment was a small fine and probation, which is what just about everyone in his situation gets for such crimes. I wonder if the conviction had any impact on the auction. My experience tells me that it probably kept Mike from working there, but I wonder if it impacted Robbie. Has he thought twice about copying cruel behavior? Does he wonder why he did it in the first place? Did he ever get the advice he was looking for?